Monday, September 19, 2011

spiritual "high"...hope you're around for a while.

I know I talk a bit about my faith and how important it is to me. Making the step to become a Christian is one of the most specials decisions I've made in my life. Being a Christian in this world, in 2011 is pretty hard with things all around me that are tempting and how many people are quick to jump down my throat, or let me know when I've not done the "christian thing"...but so re-warding.

Being a Christian is hard because,  for me, I'm developing a relationship with someone (God) who I can't see. It's like having a bff who you can't see at all and if you listen very closely you'll hear her speak to you. That's where I struggle.

I might come across as someone who has a great relationship with God but the truth is, I go through long periods of time (a couple of weeks, once or twice a year) where my relationship is just "meh" to me. Yes, I still go to church, and believe in God ::during these hard times, I have never stopped believing in god or started to wonder if it all exists::

I remember back in 2006, when I was thinking of being baptised, I was encouraged to talk to the older teens at camp about their Christian faith and ask if they could pray for me. Basically the whole camp knew that I was going to do so I had loads of people saying how proud they were and such. I remember this guy giving me a big hug and saying "sarah, you're going to have such a spiritual high."

Before that I had never heard that phrase and after he explained what it meant, all I could think was "that is so freaking cool!

He was right. For months after that day, I had a spiritual high. Every time I prayed, sang songs, went to church. It was like I was addicted to God and everything God related.

I would say just after Christmas time, the "high" went away. Going to church was boring, it was hard to get out of bed sunday morning. To sum it up, my heart wasn't in it.

Luckily, the "high" came back in april when I went to the youth rally and then at camp in august. This is how its been for a few years. Spiritual high then ::boom:: dropped.

Back in Febuary of this year, the "high" went away. I was angry at God for a reason (which I'm sure if you look back on my posts you'll know what it is) and worship wasn't doing anything for me. I left church each week not feeling "charged" up for the week and uplifted.

Instead of lasting a few weeks, it lasted till may. Then I went out west, there was my aunt, the loving Christian and bible-thumping uncle and they lifted me up that two weeks, it was great. I made sure the high lasted longer and before you knew it, it was camp time, camp was amaizing and good for my relationship with God.

Lately, I've been praying a lot on my own, listening to my favourite worship music and reading the bible.

I'm happy to say that once again my "high" is back!

I hope it stays around for a very long time.

happy sunday!
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