A week in

I can't believe this time last week we found out the worst news ever.

It's been a week of so many emotions. The anger that this is happening to my mom, the frustration because I feel no body understands what I'm going through, the fear that this could be something much worse or god forbid, something could happen to my mom.

Yes, I've questioned a few times why my mom has cancer and not someone else. But that isn't right, no one, even the rapist in jail deserves cancer because someone loves them too.

Today and yesterday have been really good days. I haven't completely sobbed, the type with mascara running down your face and the snot...oh the snot. I don't cry when someone asks me how we are doing or if we need anything. I think this is good.

I guess in a way I've come to accept this. That she has this. Though, I don't want to accept this.

Yesterday my parents met with the surgeon. Mom liked him, which is good. Always good to feel comfortable with the person who will be working on you.

She has her surgery on June 29 and we'll have to wait about 3 weeks to know what treatments she'll have to go through.

For all those who have commented/emailed/tweeted asking how everything is, thank you. Words cannot describe how much that means. Love yo' faces.

Please keep praying!

Good-bye trashy music

Today marks the first day of Lent. I'm actually surprised I knew this because every year without fail I forget when Lent starts.

I'm not a catholic so my church doesn't make a big deal about Lent at.all. 

And since I forget when it starts, I forget to cut something out of my life for 40 days.

The only way I know Lent has started is when friends on facebook post something along the lines of


"no meat around here-for 40 days"

or

"see ya later facebook, see ya in 40 days. email me at johnsmith@gmail.com if you need something"

And then I remember.

And since Lent had started, I wouldn't give up something. It's for 40 days not 35.

And just last week I went to my good friend google, and he told me that the first day of Lent was Wednesday (today.)

I knew that I really wanted to give up something in hopes of spending more time with God.

I knew I had to make a change in my walk with God. I'll be honest and say that I would do days without reading my devo's or even praying. It wasn't working and I knew Lent would be great time to make a big change.

Problem was? I had no clue what to give up.

Coffee? No. Not when Lent goes on during the last weeks of school which means all-nighters and stress. No, can't give up coffee.

Sweets? I don't really eat that many sweets so I thought this was wouldn't have such an impact.

Facebook? Maybe. But then I remembered that facebook is how myself and the other bridesmaids plan showers and parties for the wedding, I can't cut off facebook.

So, I thought and prayed about this for a while. Read: last week. 

One of the things that came to mind was only listening to Christian music not to trashy music. You know, the top 20's.

I tried saying no to this one because listening to the top 20's while running helps me! I can't run faster or make it up that hill while listening to a slow song. Nope I can't.

With this being said, I am allowing myself to listen to country music. Not 100% the same but it's something.

Day 1 is going well. My radio in my room is switched from my favourite top 20 station to a country one and while I type 94.5 Faith FM is playing.

Let's see how I do on my 5k this sunday while listening to worship music. Hopefully hearing god is good 38949x helps me run another 28 minute 5k :/

What are you giving up? If you are.

Friday Randoms

Hope everyone is having a great day and looking forward to the long weekend. It's been a crazy week here, I had two mid-terms this week. I won't apologize for not blogging much because I don't want blogging to all I do and run my life.

• First off, my heart is heavy today as one of my bloggy friends Jenn is at the hospital visiting her very sick gramma. Jenn wrote a great post explaining just how sick she is with stage 4 lung cancer. For all those prayer warriors out there, please include Jenn's Gramma in your prayers tonight. And pray for Jenn and her family as they need comfort.

• I'm on reading week! So looking forward to having a week off. My plans? Sleep and homework. Sleep to get rid out the dark bags under my eyes. And yes, I should do some homework, get those assignments out of the way.

• Things for my brothers wedding is coming a long nicely. Right now, Danielle's sisters and I are planning the Jack and Jill which is on March 24th. I've never been to one but from what Danielle tells me, it's a big party with prizes. I am beyond excited for this wedding!

• Wanna knows what sucks? Getting a bleeding nose during my run this morning. Nothing like standing in the middle of the sidewalk gushing blood. Thank goodness I had a Kleenex in my back pocket! #closeone!

Little joys.

Yesterday was a good day all around. So many things made me smile, so many things made me stop and remember to write down in my thankful book.

First, I went for an early 8.5k run at the gym. This was my farthest run all week and boy did my body need it.

Then, I found out my 2 hour class was cancelled so I only had a 50 minute class. Sweet!

And I had a great afternoon at Michael's shopping for supplies for my SIL's -to be bridal shower on March 10th.

But the thing that brought the biggest joy was one I have been praying about for months . It was the fact that my SIL and I had a long phone call last night.,

You see, in the almost 4 years since Danielle has been around, we've never been close. Some was partly my fault-being scared of her thinking I was annoying (me?annoying? NO WAY!) and some was my brother's fault, which I'm not reading to write about. I do think that the 10 years between us didn't help and the 2 hour distance wasn't helping either. I mean a 16 year old (when they started dating) and a 26 year like different things and it's hard to say to someone "let's go for a movie"- when you live 2 hours away.

Of course we talk at fam jam's, catch up and stuff.

But never alone. 

We've never gone for coffee or drinks together or texted (she doesn't have a cell so that is out of the question.)

When Ryan and D got engaged I started praying a lot that God would help make our bond stronger. I noticed at Christmas time that our bond was getting stronger as all night we talked and talked and continued talking when we got back to my house that night.

But I wasn't expecting what happened last night.

D called to say my dress was in and 20 minutes later I realized we are still on the phone, chatting away. Talking about wedding plans, showers, my brother and school.

I always have dreamed of having a close bond with my SIL, getting nails done, calling each other often just to girl talk. Dreaming of our kids being really close. Dreaming of calling her up and telling her that I'm coming up for the day.

I think now that she is almost officially part of my family we are starting to become close.

Now my biggest prayer is that we continue to grow and become closer than ever!

~

Happy 21st birthday to my best friend Karen! Excuse me while we enjoy a day of pad Thai, pedicures and ice skating.