Who knew a magazine could have me in tears.

If you read Runner's World, this months issue is a good one. Every article is based off April Boston Marathon and I seriously have not put it down. 

I can't believe it's been a little over 2 months since the bombings because for me, it feels longer. 

I read this at work yesterday and while reading the 6 page oral history of April 15th, which started in at 6:15am monday and went to 9:00am tuesday made me cry. Seeing the map of the bombs and realizing I walked those streets last year scared the crap out of me. 

But then I read something, read that, that feeling of being scared is what terrorism wants us to feel. So, we can't let them win. And Boston won't. 

I loved the article where the author imagined what next year will be like, Boston 2014 will be huge! We thought the crowds were awesome before? Just wait. I need my dad to qualify again this year. If not, road trip to Boston in April to cheer. 

Boston will be better than ever!

*totally just reviewed Runner's World...I should get next years issues for free. 

Colour me RAD!

On saturday Karen and I went cross border to do the Colour me Rad run. The one where every mile they throw colour power cornstarch at you until you are covered in colour! 

We had so much fun rolling in the colours and having rainbow coloured nose hairs and rainbow coloured boogers. 

For a 1st 5k, this is perfect!

Communicating, that great relationship downfall for me.

The other day I was reading a blog post of the sweetest girl ever. Basically the post was about how getting married made her realize or open up her eyes to her evil ways. I thought "no way, she's so sweet."

That's what I get a lot. Those comment along the lines of "you're always so happy." Or "thanks for being a great friend." But the truth is, I'm not. I'm not always happy and I'm not always the nicest person. Just ask my boyfriend.

Boy, has being in a relationship that is almost a year old made me wake up and see that I'm an ugly person on the inside. I have a temper (thanks mom), I bottle things up and as much as I love talking, I'm a horrible communicator. Especially with Alex. 

Not getting into any details, I wrote a note to Alex yesterday after we got into an argument because my anger came out of no where. I told him that my 1st thought in the morning will not be to check instagram but to pray that I will be the best girlfriend ever that day. Who will show him love every hour of the day and be mindful of communicating. To also not get into my head by thinking the worst, but that's a post for another day.

I ended the note by saying that I truly want to be quick to listen, slow to speak (interrupting) and ssssllloooowww to anger. Really slow.

And most importantly, fight with love in our hearts.

~

Let's get real here. Tell me, what is your best secret to dealing with conflicts in a relationship? 

Thumbs up to....

...Being done school summer and officially being done second year of university! Yes!

I wrote my last exam this morning, which was the easiest thing in the world (knock on wood) came home and collapsed on the bed. Waking up at 6:30am every morning is hard, man. Granted I do go to work after class. 

Nonetheless, I can now sleep in tomorrow, do whatever I want all day. Or until summer hours at the pools start. Then it's back to waking up at 7:15am. 

Summer 2013 is going to be great!

What bugs me.

It bugs me when people get mad at you when you don't want to spend $40+ on a night out of getting drunk at the bar. Sorry, trying to save my money here. 

It bugs me when people don't want to hang out during the day and only at night. 

It bugs me when people say they're on a diet, go out many times during the week to binge drink and yet complain they don't see results. Really?

It bugs me when my nail polish chips. 

It bugs me that Oprah isn't on at 4pm anymore. 

It bugs me when people get Instagram and never post pictures, but comment and like. Hello creeper. 

What bugs you?

*I swear I'm having a good day. Just some things I need to get off my chest!*

A year of cancer.

I know this is going to sound so utterly cheesy but a year a go today, my families life changed forever.

This hour a year a go my mom and dad were in the doctors office waiting to hear if my mom's tumors from her breast were cancerous or not. I was writing my final exam for summer school, trying to circle in each multiple choice answer with tears in my eyes. Crying in class is never good, especially when no one knows what's going on. 

I came home that afternoon and walked pasted my parents who were sitting in the backyard discussing what the news they got earlier. A few minutes later my parents came in the house. My mom looked at me and I thought I saw her smile, so I started smiling thinking she would say, "it's nothing" or 'I'm fine." Instead she started crying in which I did also. Told me it was cancer and explained what the steps were going to be while saying all these doctors terms out that I had no clue what they meant. 

Turns out, she had cancer and would need chemo and lots of radiation to kill it. 4 rounds of chemo that started August 28th 2012, ended November 20th 2012. Radiation was 33 rounds (everyday) and that began December 3rd, 2012 (her birthday) and ended mid January 2013. 

The summer was good, since mom wasn't in treatment, we kind of forgot about it and it wasn't until the last week of August that all of our emotions got the best of us. So much crying and saying things such as "it's not fair," "you're a good person." 

I still say that, my mom is a good person. It's not like she is a child molester. Not that I wish cancer on anyone, not even child molester, because some one loves that person too. 

Watching your mom literally waste away is scary and terrifying. Seeing her shave her hair off was very tough. For someone who never leaves the house without her hair done and have it fall out was sad. But honestly, she was the most beautiful person I've ever seen without hair. She rocked it. 

I would sleep over at Alex's monday night and come home Tuesday for class and the week after her chemo was bad. I would find her in bed crying and telling me all the things that I had gone wrong on Monday's when I class all day and seeing Alex. Seeing my mom ball her eyes out after her third round of chemo was so scary. My mom has always been the tough one and to hear her say 'I don't want to go through this," was heart-wrenching. Good thing she only had 1 more round. 

Radiation was a breeze. She had no side effects, except for getting sleepy most afternoons, but after a nap or a rest watching soap opera's she was good. 

She still has days where she gets waves of nausea or get's tired. But it's nothing to to bad. 

Her follows up's are great, has to get mammogram's every 6 months for the next 10 years. Her first one that was done in April came back clear and good! Hope it stays that way. 

As of right now, she will be returning to work in September. Our family doctor, after seeing her break down in his office many times said she wasn't ready and need the summer to be ready. And that's fine with me. 

I still struggle, cry when talking or thinking about it. And question why my mom had cancer. But I'm content knowing that cancer doesn't pick its victims, everyone-no matter what age, gender, etc can get it. Some, are more likely, aka smoking. And I know I'll be asking God when I meet him. Not "why her, God." But how does one develop it. 

I love you, Mom!

Postin from the 'Bucks

This blog post is coming from the starbucks that is literally a minute away from my house. I actually feel like a "real blogger" now, blogging from the bucks.

I have a really big and important assignment due for one of my summer school courses and yesterday and brunch, my router decided to die. After 2 hours of re-booting my internet connection and using my home computer for research and typing up my assignment on my lap top on my lap..I gave up. Ain't no body got time for that.

So after my dad "fixed" it, which really wasn't fixed, I gave up and came to starbucks to finish the assignment today. I actually like working here. Usually I get distracted but today I motored through. Just submitted it! 

I've noticed a few things while sitting at starbucks over the lunch hour.

-Girls from the highschool love dressing in big sweatshirts.

-And they flirt so much! 

-These kids smoke so young. Their poor lungs. 

-Most of the students didn't even buy drinks but used the chairs to gossip for an hour. 

-Kids are annoying and I really hope I wasn't that annoying! Yikes. 

~

On a happier note, my Grandpa Hannon went home today from the hospital and back to his nursing home to my Gramma. Please pray that he continues to get better and lives for a really long time. 

Love Notes on Friday

Dear yogurt covered raisins, thank you for being so darn delicious. Dear mother nature, winter was cold and horrible and you'd think june would be warm and sunny. Not the case, please get warmer. Dear summer school, honestly I am done with you both. I just want my summer vacation. Dear 9 hours of sleep last night, you gave me so much more than what the normal 6 has been doing. Thank you! Dear target, not impressed with the lack of selective. All I want is to buy a curling wand!

Hope everyone has a great week, I'm off to see the Toronto Blue Jays vs Texas Rangers baseball game tonight! Go Jays!

Update and Thank You!

Before I give an update on my lovely Grandpa Hannon, I just wanted to say thank you for all the comments, tweets, text messages  and prayers I've received since Tuesday. It truly means the world to me. Thank you!

Grandpa is stable right now. Meaning, he's not getting better but not getting any worse. I went to visit him yesterday afternoon with Alex but he was sleeping (grandpa not Alex). We waited around for about 10 minutes but decided to leave without waking him. It's good that he's resting if his body needs that. 

I told Alex I felt bad for leaving because he won't know we were there but I always feel waking him.

I wish I had more to update you on. I left for class before my parents woke up so I didn't get my morning update from them.  

Please keep him and in your prayers. Poor man needs them so much. I don't know what God has planned for him but just pray for his will. 

The month of June hates my family

I'm so glad that I have an outlet like blogging where I can write to express feelings at all times.

So thanks blogger.

As most of you know, my grandpa hannon has been in and out of the hospital for the past 3.5 months with chest and bladder infections. He'll get stronger and therefore get released from the hospital and a few weeks or even days, he's back in the hospital. It hurts to see him wasting away and it kills me to see my dad be strong and comfort his family when his own dad is so sick. That is the type of man he is. 

Well, I got home from class today, made a healthy lunch when my mom called to say that Grandpa was on his way back to the hospital and the doctors aren't sure what else they can do for his infections. Needless to say I broke down. 

I went to visit my grandpa before my night shift and he was so weak looking. I went up to the bed and said hello, asked how he was (always feel dumb doing that, because he's not doing well.) He didn't say anything but instead reached up to grab my hand. Totally started balling my eyes out. That gesture was so sincere to me. 

My Grandpa is the best. Honestly, what this man has gone through in his life-from being paralyzed on his right side of body from fighting in WWII to never giving up when things didn't go right, is an example to me in my own struggles.

I'm asking for those who pray to lift up my Grandpa Hannon. Even some positive thoughts would mean so much. 

Good deed of the day.

I have the best warm and fuzzy story to tell. 

Today on the subway ride home from class and spin class (in which I almost chucked up today's breakfast) I sat beside a middle aged man who was content playing fruit ninja on his phone for the 20 minute ride I was with him. When he got up at Greenwood station, I didn't think anything of it until the old lady across from me asked if my wallet had fallen. Looked down and nope, not my Roots wallet. 

Quickly, I opened it to get any of his ID out and found his health card. She said the wallet belonged to the man who just got up. Luckily, I was getting off at the next stop and handed it to a TTC worker. After explaining whose it was, I went on my way. Hoping the man would be reunited with his wallet later in the day. 

As soon as I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw the man chasing down the subway train asking for it to stop because duh, his wallet was on. 

I got his attention and said I just returned it in the office and he was so grateful looking.

As I sat in the 70a bus waiting for the driver to finish his smoke, I hurt a tap on the window from outside and saw the man. He looked so grateful and so relieved and blow me a kiss saying thank you. 

As much as I helped that man, it made me so happy to know he got his wallet back with nothing missing. 

See, Toronto does have good people living in the city.